2011 Preview
March 21st 2011 23:18
Everyone’s tipping the RB7 to sweep up the championship like a possessed broom in the hands of a atomic janitor robot made from reverse-engineered alien technology. Indeed, but seriously, the team has all the right ingredients: a superstar chief designer who is in his element; a pragmatic and fresh-thinking team boss; and two fast, determined drivers. Vettel and Webber’s fiery rivalry should be better managed this year and one of them should be champ – if the car is as good as it’s looked in pre-season.
EXPECT: Wins, wins, spy vs spy-style rivalry antics and more wins.
Ferrari
EXPECT: Genuine title contention, mechanics with goatees and Massa being left with the ends of bread for his sandwich in the Ferrari cafeteria.
It has been a winter of discontent for the Woking squad – both Hamilton and Button have bemoaned the new car’s lack of reliability and general likeness to a chrome, Vodafone-sponsored slug. They hope an updated exhaust will bring significant improvements for Melbourne, but the signs aren’t encouraging early. Still, you can never discount the team nor its drivers. They’ll find a way.
EXPECT: Awkward PR opps, a mid-season flourish and Hamilton again in trouble with the law, but oddly, for his involvement in a large scale pirated DVD syndicate.
Last year we witnessed the return of two famous Germans, Mercedes and German pop princess Nena, who’s Made in Germany Album made number 3 on Deutsch charts. Oh, and some large-chinned chap called Michael Schumacher did something too. Actually, he did nothing – and more to the point – Mercedes failed to live up to expectations as Brawn GP’s successors and this year they are pinning hopes on a radical, more aggressive design. Schumacher should be less rusty and Rosberg needs to break from the fast, but unspectacular mould he’s set himself.
EXPECT: A concerted effort to beat customer team McLaren. Schumacher’s necklace to get even chunkier, Rosberg to pout some more.
Kubica’s crash was indeed rather tragic, and the Pole is lucky to be alive, let almost losing his hand. Renault were looking pretty spiffy until that point, what with their super-funky front-mounted exhausts bringing all the engineer boys to the yard, their floor aerodynamic s are better than yours… Despite the setback, they still have a talented squad, and Nick Heidfeld is an ideal replacement. Petrov meanwhile isn’t completely useless, but Quick Nick should relish the chance and lead the way in Robert’s absence.
EXPECT: Podiums, gushing nostalgic references to the Gold Leaf-era Lotus homage livery, Kubica to announce he’s ready to comeback despite being technically in a coma.
Team Willy have gone a long time without tasting success – their last win was Juan Pablo Montoya’s end-of-2004 triumph in Brazil. Each year, in typical British austerity, they declare they are on the way back up, but now, even podiums are rare. They’ve gone radical with their design and curiously have painted the car remarkably similar to the Rothman’s –sponsored, glory-hogging Williams’ of the early to mid-90s. It’s either subtle tobacco marketing or pure superstition – either way – its unusual for the team. They’re convinced they’ve built a good car, but time will tell. Same goes for Pastor Maldonado, the cahsed-up Argentine replacing the talented Nico Hulkenberg. Still, Rubens Barrichello is still there – would you expect anything less of the only man on earth who could show you photos he took of the big bang.
EXPECT: Strong midfield presence, a lucky podium, the several regional and volunteer fire departments called in to assist Barrichello extinguish the candles on his birthday cake.
Force India have bucked the trend of entrepreneur-purchased teams of the past and not only lasted more than a season and a half – but also have managed to make progress through the midfield. Force India make good use of the Mercedes powerplant and have come up with uncomplicated, effective cars, and this year should be no different. Though there is some concern over the loss of the talented designer James Key to Sauber, they have a strong driver roster in Adrian Sutil and highly-rated rookie Scot, Paul di Resta.
EXPECT: Di Resta to impress, good results on high-speed circuits, Vijay Mallya to rock up at Monaco with the biggest yacht.
Sauber, as Swiss and hole-riddled cheese, clocks and multi-functional pocket utensils, are always an efficient operation. Last year they had hiccups after BMW’s poorly managed handover, but with the cigar-chomping Peter Sauber back on the reigns, expect the team to achieve some strong results on a modest budget. Kamui Kobayashi is an exciting young talent who can actually overtake, and while many were quick to dismiss Mexican rookie Sergio Perez as another pay-driver with the talent of a Styrofoam cup – he has shown some promise in winter testing, as has the car. With Perez’s backing from the world’s richest man, Carlos Slim (who sounds like a cartoon villain) and Sauber’s strong factory ethic, expect them to trouble Williams, and even Renault.
EXPECT: Kobayashi to hog camera time,
Toro Rosso’s very existence is under some scrutiny now that regulations require them to produce their own chassis, and not be a pseudo test squad for benefactor’s Red Bull. It seems their key purpose now is to trial new talent, and its likely they’ll run current drivers Sebastian Buemi and Jaime Alguersuari for half the season and evict the slower of the two for impressive Aussie, Daniel Ricciardo. The twist here is though, that Toro Rosso may have accidently made a genuinely good car for 2011 and may find themselves battling for positions on the ladder, rather than just trialling drivers. The team that was once Minardi have raised eyebrows in pre-season testing and could spring some surprises in the early rounds.
EXPECT: Ricciardo to be drafted in mid-season, a Toro Rosso podium, Paul Stoddart to pop up and remind everyone that he saved Minardi and hence Toro Rosso and that we should all love him.
Forget all the ridiculous and confusing drama over the Lotus nomenclature – this Lotus is the one that is aiming to be the best of the new(ish) teams to have started from scratch. Year one was a success, despite not scoring a point, they developed the car and didn’t completely embarrass themselves on track - bar the odd spontaneous combustion. The advantages they have over the other newbies include their director of engineering, Mike Gascoigne – though he’s been away from the top for a while – and two high calibre drivers in Heikki Kovalainen and Jarno Trulli. Their skill and experience helped the Lotus develop and will pay dividends this year. With nothing to lose, the drivers are noticibly relaxaed – but how long before they tire of the uphill battle?
EXPECT: Team Lotus to also be sued over naming rights by a flower, better reliability, at least one random fire.
The miracle-baby team HRT scrambled to make the grid in 2010… and then spent the year 5 seconds off the pace and occasionally causing stirs by tricking commentators into thinking they are slow moving, buggered McLarens. Collin Kolles is a no-nonesense boss, but don’t expect HRT to keep up with Lotus or Virgin. In come Force India outcast, Tonio Liuzzi and F1 outcast Narain Karthikeyan. It’s an odd pairing, but obviously one that Kolles believes brings the maximum talent and money HRT can attract. At least their new paint job stands out from other teams.
EXPECT: Last place, second last place, the second seat to be farmed out to the highest bidder late in the season – welcome back Sakon!
Beardy Branson was enamoured by F1 after he tasted success with Brawn in 2009 – but 2010 he learned that it’s not as easy as all that, even losing a bet with rival Lotus owner Max Fernandes and being made to wear a female flight attendant outfit on one of his own flights. Their CFD-only approach was widely panned and kept them from truly challenging Lotus – but was ultimately not as slow as many expected. They’ll need some major strides forward to earn some F1 respect – and their team leader Timo Glock will be praying for one of those major F1 pile ups that allow the underlings to steer through to glory.
EXPECT: Initial exchanges with Lotus, but gradual pace drop-off, Branson appearing everywhere flanked by skimpy models and looking smug, the second driver – whatshisface – to do absolutely nothing,
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